hey listen 2019 has already started out strong because guess what!! finally comes out!! young justice s3 i’m coming for you
i also got a job (still not over losing my last one but whatever)
hope 2019 is being as good for you as it is for me!!
i’m just gonna make this my 2019 thread and put all the good and bad things that happen here because i keep forgetting the good things and keep exaggerating the bad things. if i write them down as they happen maybe we can finally have the objective truth of whether or not my life sucks.
(it doesn’t but i keep forgetting that)
anyway, i love my job.
you know, i really try to like my family, but i just,,,can’t. i don’t like living with them and i don’t like talking to them and i don’t like spending time with them and i don’t like doing things for them, even though they’ve done everything for me.
my best friend told me maybe i’m just not trying the right way, and that just hurt, so much. like my opinion of her went down from 100% to 20% in the second it took me to read what she said and even though i know she’s right, i also know she’ll never ever understand. and i guess that is what hurts the most. no one will ever understand. because my family is perfect. they’ve given me everything any sane person could possibly want and i don’t know why but for some reason, i guess it’s just not good enough for my ungrateful dumb ass, and no matter what language or words i use i’ll never be able to make anyone understand why i don’t have any positive feelings towards them. i feel guilty for not trying ‘the right way’ and feeling this way in the first place. i’m tired of trying in the first place.
just…ignore this. i promised myself i wouldn’t keep these in and here is as good as any place because god knows i’m incapable of keeping a consistent diary.
oh yeah i forgot i was doing this. just gonna say again that cambridge rejected me pfff
anyway i came here to say this:
my mum hates me.
well no that’s not it. she hates how unproductive i am being. i don’t have school/uni or anything. i got fired from my regular job with fixed hour and only have this job that changes when i’m doing what a lot and so there could be a week or two when i’m just doing nothing. and so i’m just in my room all day going nothing and she hates it. she came to my room and asked me if i’m rotting here yet and that she’s worried about me. like, thanks for noticing i’m depressed, mum. you always say things like this and then disappear. either do something about it or just shut the fuck up. i don’t wanna hear about how much of a failure i am.
so yeah. is this turning into a thread about how much i really don’t like my family? because i could go on with that subject for a while.
